The surprise blessing of twins after miscarriage
An interview with Jo Gardiner
A little life overview
I’m Jo, i’m 31 years old, i grew up in Toowoomba and then moved to the Gold Coast where I studied hospitality and business. I met my husband at church and we married at the young age of 22. We began our life together and after about a year went and worked in London so that we could travel through Europe. I came back pregnant with our first son, Bryn. A year and a half later we welcomed our second son, Max. I always wanted to have my kids nice and close. My husband, Chad commuted to Brisbane to work so after having our 2 sons we made the decision to relocate to Brisbane. We have recently purchased a little blue house in Camp Hill and are slowly making improvements, particularly to the back yard, where we spend most of our time. I have had a couple of casual jobs in between having the kids, just for a bit of fun.
My experience of pregnancy and loss and what it has been like to have twins
We decided that we would like to have a 3rd baby when Max was about 1.5 years old. After not really having to try at all to fall pregnant with my first 2 boys i was surprised after a few months went by without a positive result. I felt at peace about it and we plodded along for a year before finally seeing those 2 lines on the pregnancy test. I was so excited, after waiting for so long. I went along to my dating scan at 7 weeks and they couldn’t detect a heartbeat. I wasn’t worried, I just thought my dates were wrong. After numerous blood tests and scans it was found that the pregnancy was not viable. It was a hard few weeks, mourning the loss of our third baby, but I had a peace that everything would work out. Whether or not that meant I would fall pregnant again or not, i had a peace. One night after tucking my 2 boys in I walked out of their room and felt a strong sense that someone was missing in our family. From then i knew that we would have another baby in God’s timing. We continued to try to conceive and in January 2016, exactly 1 year after being pregnant last time, i saw 2 lines on the pregnancy test again. My baby was due 2 days before the baby that we lost. I was thrilled to have this news and imagined myself pregnant and welcoming a precious new soul into our family.
My GP sent me for some blood tests and said my hormone levels were rather high. She was worried it would be an ectopic pregnancy. I think i convinced myself that it would be and that I would be losing yet another bub. She sent me for a scan on a Friday night just to be safe. I was nervously shaking the waiting room at the thought of it being an ectopic pregnancy. The sonographer scanned me and asked Chad to come stand by me. He showed us a teeny beating heart, it was in the right spot. Phew. He then said “and here is another little heartbeat”. An enormous sense of relief washed over us both. From there i could not wipe the smile off my face.
I also remember hearing many deep breaths coming from Chad’s direction. We were both SO SO excited. I then lay there for another hour or so while he got all his measurements for both babies. I felt a little overwhelmed at the thought of having 4 kids, but mostly relieved and excited that we had heartbeats on that screen. After a few days had passed I began to feel really reserved and nervous about it all. Thinking, surely this isn’t real? Surely i’m not going to have twins. Something will probably happen, it may not last. But after the 12 weeks scan I breathed a sigh of relief. This was really happening. I am going to have these babies. I look at them now and can’t imagine our family without them. They are beautiful. They bring us so much joy. The boys absolutely adore them. Today, i am so thankful for that 4 year gap that i never wanted. It’s amazing to have 2 older boys who are mostly independent and helpful. Im blessed to have 2 days a week where it’s just me and the twins and i have time to lie on the floor with them and not chase after 2 older energetic boys. I’m excited about our future as a family of 6.
The one thing that kept me going when i was unsure i would every carry another baby again
Definitely the presence of God in my life. His word is truth and he is the same yesterday today and forever. I had an enormous amount of faith in Him since that night after tucking my boys into bed and feeling like i had to go and say goodnight to another child. I felt like I couldn’t thank him enough for these babies and at times I was over run by tears of joy. Who am I to be blessed this much?!
I am most thankful for
My family. I don’t take lightly the fact that they are in my life. My amazing husband is a constant support to me. He is so encouraging and helpful. I am so blessed to have 4 beautiful, healthy children. i know what it’s like to feel that sadness each month when the pregnancy test is negative. I feel incredibly blessed. I am also thankful to have a ‘village’ to raise these babies. I couldn’t do it without the constant help and support of family and friends. I’m also thankful that I have faith in God. A God who loves us and wants the best for our lives.
How I feel about having a Frames of Hope Session being done for me
It’s amazing. They are only little once and for such a short amount of time, so to be able to capture such a beautiful chapter in our lives is, everything. I love to look back on baby photos and so do the kids. I love that our Frames of Hope session wasn’t about posing for the camera, it was about capturing those every day beautiful baby moments, which i’ll treasure forever.